Lack confidence? Pick a fat bridesmaid

Have you just been given the call up to step into your peach taffeta and organise an ironic burlesque class for 17 people you've never met? Lucky you. But if you've assumed you've got the bridesmaid invite on the basis of your close friendship with the bride, then think again.

According to a survey published in The Telegraph, a third of women interviewed admitted that they would choose a plumper pal to hold their train. Almost 50% of interviewees said that they felt 'insecure' next to thin guests (you may now have guessed that the survey was carried out by Slimfast), while 40% claimed that buying shoes made them feel better. Oh good.

It's surveys like this that make us despair for the entire human race...

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