Beauty gone bonkers

One for the ladies. If you could persuade your man to go under the knife what would you have done to him? Pump the calves up a bit? Beer belly extraction? 'Hows your father' enlargement? Well no need to persuade him. Chances are he’ll go by himself.

New research released by the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons has shown that more men than ever are going under the knife for cosmetic reasons. Yes the halycon days of men being allowed to be ugly and still attractive are over. Lads and ladies have united in the freakish race to carve themselves up. All in pursuit of the impossible - the ‘body beautiful’.

So what are the boys having done? Top of the list is niggly stuff, like eyebrow lifts, nose jobs, and hair implants. Think Silvo Berlusconi. (Italians are obvious forerunners in the field) Closely followed by tummy tucks (for that stubborn curry gut) and, gasp,… moob reduction, that most evil of social ills. Don't know what moobs are? (Tony Blair's got a good set going on if you need an idea).

While no self respecting man wants to strip off and reveal babylons bigger than his girlfriend, we can’t help wondering if there isn't an easier way to achieve the body beautiful. Less armchair sport, more movement maybe? Or would that be stretching the boundaries of possiblity just a bit too far?

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